Through the Bible

#Fear women

The bible is a very interesting book and I love reading it. Of late my focus has been the women in the bible and the more I look into them, the more I understand why men should add 47 minutes to the 3 hours they take daily to fear women.
If you keep it here, we shall go on a journey through biblical history and be amazed and terrified by this other gender.
Allow me take my 3hrs 47min starting now.

let’s get going

THROUGH THE BIBLE

#1.EVE

It would be an injustice not to start at the beginning. In order to fear this other gender, it’s paramount to find where the initial crack was, no pun intended.
See, while everyone knows what she did to sin and to cause Adam to sin, very few people ask why she ate the fruit. Gen 3:6 tells us, ” The woman was convinced. The fruit looked so fresh and delicious, and it would make her know everything. So she ate some of the fruit. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her. Then he ate it, too.”

Do you see the description of the fruit? Brothers, the first woman wanted the fine fine things in that garden. Do you think that her offsprings have changed?. Brothers, a leopard doesn’t change it’s spots. If you don’t keep refreshing yourself, your ideas, vision and make yourself delicious, she will listen to a serpent and it will show her something “better”. The less said here, the better.

Second, it was all about HER, Adam would follow suit in time. I guess she, like all women eventually do, had discovered that her husband was mentally slow. That her man, like all men, had fallen in a routine and was not as ambitious as her.
How many women do you know who feel they are tied to a tortoise, to men who seem to be holding them back from soaring beyond the clouds? I know quite a number who would trade their handbrake husband’s for greener pastures even if the pastures are an illusion. Some already have.

Now, here is the where you add 47 minutes. Once she knew she had sinned and Adam hadn’t yet, she decided she wasn’t going down alone. Feel free to paint your picture of how she convinced Adam to eat that fruit.
Me, I believe Adam was threatened that he won’t eat her Canaan ever if he refused to eat that fruit. Like Moses, he would see it, lie next to it, watch it drip with milk and honey but will not enter. Now add the moods, silent treatment, nyimbo za kukejeli as she washed plates or the kiwaru Adam would fill as she chatted with the serpent or as she watched animals mate, touched herself and updated her status with that picture. You think am crazy? Remember she had eaten the fruit and she knew everything. Adam was the mandazi here.

I can’t blame Adam. If you weigh a lifetime of dryspell in the midst of plenty Vs a threat of death, a concept totally alien to any living creature then, you will choose Canaan. And with that, Adam fell. The rest is history.

Truth is, this other gender, be it family, friends, lovers or enemies will very rarely go down alone. They are not wired like that and are endowed with resources like tears, flesh and suitabilities that attract you to go down with them. It’s genetics.

Of Fertility and men Shooting Blanks……

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Until last week, it was a hushed topic, almost taboo, spoken of in whispers as if the ghosts were listening or the gods would strike with lighting and throw in thunder for good measure.

Then Stephen Ngila happened. If you live under a rock, Stephen, a ‘God-fearing’ tailor- man was at one time married to Jackline Mwende, a beautiful lady. Mwende alleges that after seven years of marriage, no kids, lots of violence,separation and societal interventions, hell came visting and it’s fury was bad .

Continue reading “Of Fertility and men Shooting Blanks……”

Wairimu;Till natural death do us part, not murder

Your friends are furious with me, some have called me names, some I suspect are just jealous of your upcoming family life. Their bone of contention, the 49 days the gods had given me to be single. They say that the deadline passed last week. How do they get to know such stuff? My friend Kags tells me that all girls have a fiancée vetting committee, is this your committee? I also noted your concerned tone on Friday on the same. Nimmo, let me lay your concerns to rest; when the gods said 49 days, they meant 49 government days, clear? No? Ok, what they meant was it was 49 days excluding weekends, holidays, leaves and emergencies. If you factor in all the above you and I have 34 days and 11 hours.

Continue reading “Wairimu;Till natural death do us part, not murder”